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October

by Helen Robertson

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1.
Stripy Dance 02:37
The most common kind of Zebra is found on the plains of Africa But I don’t concern myself with them Leave them to david Attenborough I’m talking ‘bout the rarer kind The ones you find on rollerskates They move around the derby track And all the while officiate and Do the stripy dance Do the zebra dance Do the stripy dance Do the zebra dance See derby’s got a lot of rules There’s 60 pages for them to read ‘Bout how to score, and who to send off And what stops a jammer being lead These strange creatures don’t work alone There’s 3 to 7 for each bout If they see something going wrong They’ll give a whistle and a shout and Do the stripy dance Do the zebra dance Do the stripy dance Do the zebra dance High block, low block, blocking to the back Elbows, forearms, cutting the track Illegal re-entry from the penalty box Blocking with the head, Multi-player block Clockwise, stopped or out of bounds assist Equipment violation and illegal positioning False start, blocking while skating clockwise Illegal engaging and stop to block, guys Failure to return and failure to reform Stalling, interference, insubordination Skating out of bounds and blocking off the track Gross misconduct, destruction of the pack Delay of game and illegal procedure If you don’t hear the whistle they probably didn’t see you Referee points at you when you’re the leader jammer And holds up five fingers when you get that grand slam, yeah
2.
Satellite 02:23
Her hair was kind of muddy brown Her eyes were sort of grey She was amazing In every way I could conceive of She probably shouldn't have Even known I existed But we bonded Over new episodes of the Simpsons And I asked her over And she said, “Sure, alright” ‘Cause she only had 5 channels, And I had satellite I couldn’t believe it When she turned up at my door I’m fairly sure I stammered something awkward While staring at the floor And I offered her a glass of juice And she asked me for a cup of tea And though I didn’t like it When I made one for her and one for me And we both laughed when Bart got in a fight She only had 5 channels And I had satellite When the episode was finished I asked what we should do then She looked a little confused And said she had to go home I was, to say the least, gutted I wanted to be her best friend But she only liked me For my premium TV content I still asked her To come over the next night ‘Cause she only had 5 channels And I had satellite
3.

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released November 1, 2014

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